Weekly Routines AKA The Cozy Rut

Over the past year or so my daughters and I have fallen into a weekly set of activities we do on a regular basis...a routine of sorts. A cozy rut of visits to the coffee shop, the public library, enjoying movie night (with popcorn of course), and yes, even church. One of our favorite games is trying to predict how many people will be sitting by themselves in front of a laptop at the local Starbucks..a.k.a. "Profilers". Nothing too exciting, but fun nonetheless. A chance to just bask in each other's company and chat it up.

Won't be long before they'll find better things to do with their spare time than spend it with their old man. So I better enjoy it while I can and be grateful for what I have.


Read On

Chillin' with the Mocha

Rice Krispy Treat Anyone?

PopCorn!





Sloppy Braids and Mismatched Outfits

Braids?

We do our best to make sure our daughters have what they need and want for nothing. Especially in the attention and love department. But despite my best efforts, Liz can give them something I cannot: nice hairstyles and well-appointed outfits. Blame it on my impatience, incompetence, inexperience with hair in general...whatever, the unskilled fingers still point to me.



It's not that I don't want to have them show off their beauty with the latest hair or clothing style. Or fall back on the lame "it's a girl thing" excuse. But let's face it, asking me to braid my kids' hair or shop for a chic ensemble is like asking a moonshiner to sit in for a wine sommelier at a French restaurant. Results may vary considerably. And not usually in my favor. Riots may ensue.

Such is life. So I'll stick to what I know - hugs, attention, playing....and my limits.

Work It Out Yerself!

The only things my girls love more than each other is sibling rivalry. They can have turf wars over just about anything...dolls, toys, things neither one really wants...the list is ever-expanding. And when the tug-of-war turns into a stalemate they always resort to the inevitable "Dad!", in the hopes that I will resolve their problems (i.e. side with their cause, and not their sister's.).

Dad!

Well, I'm done with enabling this behavior. They have to resolve their own petty issues and arguments, and learn to accept the outcome. Thankfully, neither one is prone to violence as a solution, so I am comfortable with my decision, knowing that their problem will be solved without one of them getting a black eye or broken finger. In the rare case that my input is needed, I'll give it, as advice, not as picking one kid's side over the other.

Too often I see parents intervene unnecessarily in childrens' arguments...hoping to solve the kid's problems like some kind of fairy Godmother or Godfather. Giving the kids the impression that some outside force is always going to come to their aid, alleviating them from learning coping skills. I'm not saying to let a child get bullied or manipulated by another, but they need to learn cause and effect as early as possible. Maybe they'll learn what consequences result from certain behaviors, or how much control one human can expect to have over other another...or what acceptance and tolerance mean.

Time will tell. For now, I expect to hear "Dad!" for quite a while, until they'll learn...

Shots (a.k.a. Vaccines)

Who Said Two Out of Three Ain't Bad

It's that wonderful time of year again when every kid who has no say in the matter is forced to endure flu shots. And this year was my turn to take my girls for the annual exercise in pain management.

During the visit we learned that Ellla hit the vaccine lottery: she was scheduled to get three shots in addition to the one for the flu. Try telling a 4 year old that it's for their own good...better to endure the momentary searing pain than suffer through an extended illness, or worse. Good luck with that.


A Veteren Shot Taker

I've heard friends tell stories of how their kid stared down their fear and took the shot with a smile. That'll work for one shot, with some kids. Not four in a row. So I had to hold Ella on my lap, secure her arms in a gentle but stern way so she didn't punch the nurse and watch as needle after needle were jammed into here shoulders.

As grateful as I am for preventive medicine, I really thank God for cures like candy, ice cream and sugar. That's what cured the vaccine bug.

Walk It Off

As a single father it can be difficult to react to my daughters' emotional meltdowns. As a kid, I would usually take a walk in the woods to re-boot when things got ugly. Still seems to work....

Before:
I was in Cherry Hill to pick up the girls and take them to my place for the weekend. We waited for Liz to return from an errand...everything was great, and eveyone was in a good mood. But (you knew there was a but), just before Liz got back, the girls started fighting over some stuffed animals. Specifically, Ella was hoarding some of Lily's toys against her will. Lily freaked out in a classic "I wasn't thinking of those toys until you touched them, and now they are my world!" syndrome. Within seconds the whole house was an emotional tornado. Lily was screaming. Ella wouldn't back down. I was yelling. A swirling, dizzying disaster.

Liz got home and helped calm the scene. When the dust settled I insisted that the girls and I take a walk in a nearby park to regain our composure. Much resistance from the girls; no relentance from me.

During:

During the walk in the woods, I kept telling the girls that they need to find a way to burn off pent-up energy. We can't fight over toys and hate each other. Possessions can be prisons...or as my Unlce Joe says, "What we own, owns us". I relied on what little knowledge I have to parent two young girls and overcome the recent meltdown...deep breathing techniques, reminders that we love each other, focus on the 'now', communicate.



After:

Everyone agreed - we felt better, more revived and enthusiastic about our upcoming weekend together after our walk and talk. Maybe they'll  remember that the next time they put toys ahead of their love for each other. Time will tell....and if it can't, I'll be there to remind them.

Footloose Dance Party

End of the day and the girls had just carbo-loaded on pasta and sweets. Have to find a way to burn off their increasing energy and restlessness. Can't go outside ...raining.

Turns out, as usual, that it's not my idea, but the kids', that saves the situation. Why? I'm not a kid anymore. Don't think like one; not as free spirited and spontaneous as they are.

We go to the smallest room in the house and Ella pushes a 'play' button on a Ferris wheel toy. An overly-hyped tune blasts out causing her to instantly erupt into a possessed dance routine. Lily and I are still laughing when the music stops and Ella simultaneously freezes.

Time to break out the video equipment. The girls make up a quick three-act script: lie on ground and say what a boring day it is; cue music and dance insanely; freeze when the music stops.  Pure childish, free-spirited energy. A good reminder of what adults tend to lose as they mature. Thank God for kids!

Pure insanity. Watch the video and see for yourself.

 

 



Kitties Bunnies and Chihuahuas

Ella looked me square in the eye and said, "I love kitties, bunnies and chihuahuas." She meant it. She repeated it several times each day. At every opportunity. Not sure if she even knows what a chihuahua is, but there you have it.

In fact, it's gotten to the point where she asks me when, I'm going to get the kitty, bunny or chihuahua. Then it's a debate over which one I'm going to get first. The assumption is that I'm getting all three.

There are times when I say, "no way" to all three...and then I relent. "Ok, only the kitty." I'm only buying time, and hoping she won't remember.

We'll stick to stuffed animals for now. I hope.